>The only jokes you receive are through e-mail

>The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions

>The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind

>When you go into a computer shop, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct him and spend next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head

>You are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts

>You are always late to meetings

>You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling

>You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say so out loud

>You are convinced you can build a phasor from your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment

>You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor

>You are next in line on death row in a French prison and you find that the guillotine is not working properly so you offer to fix it

>You are still drinking Mr Pibb

>You are wine tasting and find yourself paying more attention to the cork screws than the '84 Chardonnay

>You bought your wife a new CD ROM for her birthday

>You bought your wife's valentine gift at orchard supply

>You can name at least six Star Trek episodes

>You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie

>You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting

>You can understand anything Al Gore says