1. What did the light bulb say to the generator? "I really get a charge out of you!"
2. How do you pick out a dead battery from a pile of good ones? It's got no spark!
3. A man with a hearing problem walked into a power plant for a tour. He arrived late and had to join the rest of the group already on the tour. The man was reviewing what he had just told the group. He told the group that they wouldn't move on until they answered this one question: What is the unit of power equal to one joule per second called?" The man with the hearing problem hadn't heard the question very well, so he raised his hand and asked "What?"
4. Why do transformers hum? They don't know the words.
5. What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? "You spark up my life!"
6. What did the baby light bulb say to the mommy light bulb? "I love you watts and watts!"
7. Why was the free electron so sad? It had nothing to be positive about!
8. What did Godzilla say when he ate the nuclear power plant? "Shocking!"
9. Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!
10. Two atoms were walking down the street one day, when one of them exclaimed, "Oh, no I've lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" the other one asked. "Yes," replied the first one, "I'm positive."

Audience cries.

A mathmatician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.

The mathmatician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.

The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.

The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.

Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.

Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.

If you can’t fix it — document it.

The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.