1. You have no life – and you can PROVE it mathematically.
2. You know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
3. You've actually used every single function on your graphic calculator.
4. It is sunny and 30 degrees outdoors and you are working on a computer.
5. You know how to integrate your (imaginary) girlfriend’s body and can take the derivative of your donger.
6. You often mathturbate.
7. You have a pet named after your favourite undergraduate lecturer.
8. The Humane Society has you arrested because you actually performed the Schrodinger's Cat experiment.
9. You can translate English into Binary.
10. You are completely addicted to caffeine. (Yes, you said a trillion times that you want to quit but who’d buy that rubbish?)
11. The “fun” centre of your brain has completely deteriorated from lack of use.
12. You assume that an "80-storey skyscraper" is a "particle" in order to make the maths easier.
13. You can easily relate with more than five of these indicators.
14. You make a hard copy of this list, and post it on your door.